Anxiety is a Bitch,  Sincerely, JC

Investing Your Heart

Dating with anxiety sucks. For me, a “normal” dinner date is more of a spectacle. First dates are always the worst. Anxiety stops me from dating, period. I can talk to men, that isn’t a problem for me. My problem comes when they ask me to go out to dinner.

For some, dinner dates are normal. Nervousness comes from what the other person will think of you. Dating with anxiety this gets more complicated for no logical reason. You get nervous about the people around you and how they will judge you. The fear of rejection from your date him/her in public is your worst nightmare. There is also the fear of embarrassing yourself or your date.

Once you get past that, when you are comfortable with the person, the fear of rejection still lingers. Going out in public is more bearable with someone you are comfortable around and know. Then you need to decide to let them in and invest in the relationship.

Investing in another person someone that you want to trust and feel safe with is extremely difficult. No matter how long you have been with them or how much you really do trust them there is always a fear. They are completely illogical. Everything can be going perfectly and then anxiety will kick in. Are you two still happy? Has he/she outgrown you? Could there be someone else? Is there someone else? The questions go on.

Finding a partner that understands this and is willing to love you through it is hard. Getting being able to get through the first date is the hardest. If you are able to have a strong dialogue between each other it is easier to handle.

Unfortunately, my last relationship did not have any of that. We did have love but there was no trust and the communication was poor. Honestly, I believe that is what caused it to end. I learned a lot from that relationship. It has made me into a better version of me. 

 

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